Ovarian Cancer Journal

La familia: the family, our tribe of our origin which shapes who we are, what we believe, our attitude, persistence, willingness to learn and take risks; often, what, who and how we love.

The family can be the source of extremes - intense hatred, love, negligence, abuse, support and immense strength.

It is hard to understand at times what determines which characteristics predominate in a family. My own family was blessed with an abundance of the positive virtues – willingness to always lend a helping hand; love, warmth; hopping on a plane at a moment’s notice to be at a relative’s sickbed or traumatic event; giving up a weekend to help with home repairs or offer moral support. God truly blessed us.

I most recently experienced the force of family dynamics in the past month, when I found it necessary to move from our Greenville condominium into a building we own down in the sleepy little town of Pelzer.

Adverse effect on finances is a reality for many of us with cancer, so we knew we would have to eliminate the hefty mortgage on the condominium and take advantage of our mixed commercial/ residential building down in Pelzer which we own free and clear. The Pelzer building has required some extensive renovation. David has his woodworking shop in the front, and our living quarters are in the back.

I have been debilitated because of surgery and treatment for the past month, so there was no was way I would be able to pull off moving us. David has been busily working on the renovations, so he did not have the time and energy to set up the move.

That’s when my family came to the rescue. I told them my dream is to be completely moved in time for Thanksgiving. Once they knew I was serious about this, they went to work setting up a schedule.

An email was broadcast to the family inviting them to participate in the moving, painting, building, packing and unpacking and various tasks. The calendar filled up as people changed their work schedules, made their plane reservations, and gathered up their tools to bring with them.

Moving date was set – Saturday, November 18. I was in a haze the last few days as I sat and watched my siblings empty drawers, tape and label boxes. But here we are – I am in my recliner in the living room at Pelzer, and they are now emptying those same boxes into the appropriate drawers and cupboards in our new location.

Aunt Anne will be here next week to help with more of the organizational tasks. Karen will be here the following week to help finish up the moving and help me organize papers and legal documents. Mary will be here December 8-12 to work on more unpacking and organizing ( there is an endless supply!)

So....before Christmas we should have it all in place (as I dream of sugar plums and fairies along with my finished renovations!)

I owe my heartfelt love, gratitude and thanks to my wonderful family for pulling this off - it could NEVER have happened otherwise. And without this experience of a terminal illness, I could never have truly understood the depth of love and caring there for the asking from family and friends. This is one of the most profound blessings I have received in this past year - the gift of such an extreme outpouring of love, support and assistance.

I thank God for this chance to know and understand the essence of life and love.