Sunday, August 27, 2006
Of pain, consciousness, surrender, mind and matter
Today my body said it did not like the idea of getting out of bed. It was just too painful to walk, bend and eat, with a belly full of fluid that makes me look 3 or 4 months pregnant and is very rudely compressing my internal organs. My mind said I should get up anyway, and not only that, I should exercise to make myself feel better. I hauled myself out of bed and the mental sparring continued for several hours while I downed a liquid protein breakfast. Stay on the couch - after all, I am still recovering from chemo! Get up, put on the shoes and go out the door - just do it!
In the end, my dilemma was resolved by listening to the words of someone who has distilled much of the best spiritual wisdom available to mankind. I have Eckhart Tolle's works on my iPod and use them to help me remember the power of conscious presence and surrender to the pain in that moment, whether physical or emotional. Or, as my sister Nancy reminded me, words that we were raised with - "Just offer it up for the good of others and your own soul." I did not understand those words until relatively recently - how could acceptance of my pain help anyone else? Tolle explains pain in the present in terms of an expression of old pains from our past that we have held onto, or even humanity's pain that expresses itself in those who are open to others. It is the ego that makes us miserable about how we are feeling, because the ego has to label it and the label it assigns to pain is "bad".
Regardless of the origin of the pain, his suggested technique of simply bringing it into conscious awareness, disengaging from the label, feeling it and accepting it in the moment helps to dissolve it, for me. This frees up energy to be used for other things. In this case, I was able to disengage my mind from my pain perception and then found felt the energy to go and do my workout, which did, in fact, make me feel better.
This technique works equally well for me with other "bad" feelings such as fear, anger, worry and anxiety. All these things are a result of my mind telling me that I have a problem that warrants these feelings. Focusing on the wonder or "isness" of the present moment and stopping the busy mind in it's tracks erases those feelings and replaces it with a sense of peace and calm. I can't say I have mastered the technique, but I am finding it easier over time, with periodic coaching from my friend Eckhart.
How is this different from prayer? In the traditional sense of the word, I think of prayer as a direct communication with God, using the mind, and with a sense of purpose. Being present in the moment is a different way of communicating with God and the whole of the universe by FEELING rather than thinking, appreciating all of which we are a part.
In the end, my dilemma was resolved by listening to the words of someone who has distilled much of the best spiritual wisdom available to mankind. I have Eckhart Tolle's works on my iPod and use them to help me remember the power of conscious presence and surrender to the pain in that moment, whether physical or emotional. Or, as my sister Nancy reminded me, words that we were raised with - "Just offer it up for the good of others and your own soul." I did not understand those words until relatively recently - how could acceptance of my pain help anyone else? Tolle explains pain in the present in terms of an expression of old pains from our past that we have held onto, or even humanity's pain that expresses itself in those who are open to others. It is the ego that makes us miserable about how we are feeling, because the ego has to label it and the label it assigns to pain is "bad".
Regardless of the origin of the pain, his suggested technique of simply bringing it into conscious awareness, disengaging from the label, feeling it and accepting it in the moment helps to dissolve it, for me. This frees up energy to be used for other things. In this case, I was able to disengage my mind from my pain perception and then found felt the energy to go and do my workout, which did, in fact, make me feel better.
This technique works equally well for me with other "bad" feelings such as fear, anger, worry and anxiety. All these things are a result of my mind telling me that I have a problem that warrants these feelings. Focusing on the wonder or "isness" of the present moment and stopping the busy mind in it's tracks erases those feelings and replaces it with a sense of peace and calm. I can't say I have mastered the technique, but I am finding it easier over time, with periodic coaching from my friend Eckhart.
How is this different from prayer? In the traditional sense of the word, I think of prayer as a direct communication with God, using the mind, and with a sense of purpose. Being present in the moment is a different way of communicating with God and the whole of the universe by FEELING rather than thinking, appreciating all of which we are a part.
